We're Headed Up My Mom's Ass!

Tonight I watched the Simple Life, which wasn't a great idea. I kept thinking that I really wanted to cut off Nicole Ritchie's and Paris Hilton's heads, but I fear that like a seven headed hydra that once their heads were severed they'd just grow new ones.

I'm just supposing that there's an alternate reality where Paris Hilton answers her fucking phone and Rick Solomon becomes so enraged that he strangles her to death.

I'm sure in that reality as well that Rebecca Eckler isn't allowed anywhere near print media.

I think Paris Hilton just needs to meet her own 'Carrie' so to speak.