Wednesday, February 11, 2004
I don't believe in fate or destiny, but it's hard to argue the validity (or lack thereof) of those concepts with someone who believes they'll follow their father's fate because up to this point in their lives everything's been frighteningly similar. It's like an echo, it sounds a little distorted, a little further off, but it's inevitable that the differences will be negligible.
I don't think I've ever experienced that. I certainly can't imagine that. Oh there's always the odd, you look like your dad, or dad was your size when he was your age and then bam, he got a gut...but there's never been that fear of depression, suffocation, anguish, and illness. It's a tough thing to deal with, the elephant in the room. It looms large. Noone wants to acknowledge it, they'll mention how you have the same hair, a similar nose, but noone wants to mention the pachyderm.
I suppose it's a lot to swallow. How the fuck do you fight off destiny? Do you ignore it, in hopes that it won't come true? or do you acknowledge it as a possibility and try to fight it? Maybe even simply acknowledging it seems too much like embracing it, I'll never know. Do you keep constant reminders of it, like post-it notes pasted by happenstance over your craninum? How do you try to avert what is slowly becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Can you imagine feeling like you're going through the same motions he did? What do you do when you feel that you can't stop it?
I don't think I've ever experienced that. I certainly can't imagine that. Oh there's always the odd, you look like your dad, or dad was your size when he was your age and then bam, he got a gut...but there's never been that fear of depression, suffocation, anguish, and illness. It's a tough thing to deal with, the elephant in the room. It looms large. Noone wants to acknowledge it, they'll mention how you have the same hair, a similar nose, but noone wants to mention the pachyderm.
I suppose it's a lot to swallow. How the fuck do you fight off destiny? Do you ignore it, in hopes that it won't come true? or do you acknowledge it as a possibility and try to fight it? Maybe even simply acknowledging it seems too much like embracing it, I'll never know. Do you keep constant reminders of it, like post-it notes pasted by happenstance over your craninum? How do you try to avert what is slowly becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Can you imagine feeling like you're going through the same motions he did? What do you do when you feel that you can't stop it?
# posted by Die Brucke @ 4:08 PM 
