Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Tonight I watched the Simple Life, which wasn't a great idea. I kept thinking that I really wanted to cut off Nicole Ritchie's and Paris Hilton's heads, but I fear that like a seven headed hydra that once their heads were severed they'd just grow new ones.
I'm just supposing that there's an alternate reality where Paris Hilton answers her fucking phone and Rick Solomon becomes so enraged that he strangles her to death.
I'm sure in that reality as well that Rebecca Eckler isn't allowed anywhere near print media.
I think Paris Hilton just needs to meet her own 'Carrie' so to speak.
I'm just supposing that there's an alternate reality where Paris Hilton answers her fucking phone and Rick Solomon becomes so enraged that he strangles her to death.
I'm sure in that reality as well that Rebecca Eckler isn't allowed anywhere near print media.
I think Paris Hilton just needs to meet her own 'Carrie' so to speak.
About a year and a half ago at my sister's wedding my dad said "It took a long time for Dean and Cheryl to get married, here's hopin' (somehow in the heat of the moment former school teachers forget how to enunciate) they won't take so long in makin' us grandparents."
My sister turned bright red and blurted out "Mark's already working on that." As much as I like Colt Seavers, I hate being the Fall Guy.
This year I was hoping my dad wouldn't do the same thing. I was hoping he'd remember to remain calm, composed, and full of poise. He didn't.
When it came time to thank people, my dad mentionned how my mom had a lot of help in the kitchen. He then added that he himself wasn't much help in the kitchen. He should have stopped there. He then said "I'm good in a lot of rooms in the house just not that one." I'm sure my dad meant well, but as the entire room started laughing, my mom turned bright red. She didn't seem to know exactly what was said or what was meant, but she knew it was embarassing. My dad then added with palms to the sky, in an attempt to make things better, "Well it's true." I should have said something about some things you don't have to try to know they're wrong. Hindsight is always 20/20.
It all reminded me of the time I called into Ian Hart's radio show and jokingly declared on the phone that I had walked in on my dad tapping my mom's ass. I didn't realize that the phone call was going live on the air.
My sister turned bright red and blurted out "Mark's already working on that." As much as I like Colt Seavers, I hate being the Fall Guy.
This year I was hoping my dad wouldn't do the same thing. I was hoping he'd remember to remain calm, composed, and full of poise. He didn't.
When it came time to thank people, my dad mentionned how my mom had a lot of help in the kitchen. He then added that he himself wasn't much help in the kitchen. He should have stopped there. He then said "I'm good in a lot of rooms in the house just not that one." I'm sure my dad meant well, but as the entire room started laughing, my mom turned bright red. She didn't seem to know exactly what was said or what was meant, but she knew it was embarassing. My dad then added with palms to the sky, in an attempt to make things better, "Well it's true." I should have said something about some things you don't have to try to know they're wrong. Hindsight is always 20/20.
It all reminded me of the time I called into Ian Hart's radio show and jokingly declared on the phone that I had walked in on my dad tapping my mom's ass. I didn't realize that the phone call was going live on the air.
