Tuesday, April 12, 2005
They called me, Mr. Infinity because I can live infinite lives, so far it seems I've only lived the mundane ones. I was born at the tail end of 1968 and still haven't seen anything good yet, maybe I'm expecting too much. I guess it's immortals who get to see the really good stuff, when you're just a guy who can't be killed you take what you can get.
I age, I get hurt, I just don't die, well I die, I just get better. Maybe old age will do me in, I for sure as hell don't want to be a shit and piss factory all my life. Quality of life y'know? Not quantity.
They should have called me glutton for punishment, it's not as catchy as Mr. I. It's accurate, just not catchy. Essentially my super power boils down to this I can take a beating. You want someone to shrink, contact Ant-man, you want someone to call down thunder, get Thor, you want an inferno, call the Human Torch. If you want someone to get the shit kicked out of them, you contact me. I'm sure I'm useful, I'm a good distraction. Picture this you just curb job some guy, his brain matter and teeth are all over the ground and then BAM he's as right as rain ready to get his ass kicked again. It's going to make you take a pause from your rampage for a good five minutes. Use it to reflect, I don't care. Best case scenario, I tucker you out and then kick your ass.
The Grey was the only one who could defeat me, that asshole made sure to beat me within an inch of my life, I was practically begging him to finish me off. He leaves me in a coma calls the media and lets a right to life group do the rest. I was there for months.
Kind of put a dent in my career having my weakness exposed like that. I have a living will so that sort of takes care of it, but I operate out of the states, not the Netherlands. What the fuck am I gonna do?
I host a weekly radio show, we're trying to get syndicated. The big money is in syndication. It's a half hour phone show. People call in ask me to do something and I do it. 'Stab yourself with a knife' one will say, 'drink a bottle of draino' another will demand. I do it, describe it, die, and come back to life. The kids get a real kick out of it.
I age, I get hurt, I just don't die, well I die, I just get better. Maybe old age will do me in, I for sure as hell don't want to be a shit and piss factory all my life. Quality of life y'know? Not quantity.
They should have called me glutton for punishment, it's not as catchy as Mr. I. It's accurate, just not catchy. Essentially my super power boils down to this I can take a beating. You want someone to shrink, contact Ant-man, you want someone to call down thunder, get Thor, you want an inferno, call the Human Torch. If you want someone to get the shit kicked out of them, you contact me. I'm sure I'm useful, I'm a good distraction. Picture this you just curb job some guy, his brain matter and teeth are all over the ground and then BAM he's as right as rain ready to get his ass kicked again. It's going to make you take a pause from your rampage for a good five minutes. Use it to reflect, I don't care. Best case scenario, I tucker you out and then kick your ass.
The Grey was the only one who could defeat me, that asshole made sure to beat me within an inch of my life, I was practically begging him to finish me off. He leaves me in a coma calls the media and lets a right to life group do the rest. I was there for months.
Kind of put a dent in my career having my weakness exposed like that. I have a living will so that sort of takes care of it, but I operate out of the states, not the Netherlands. What the fuck am I gonna do?
I host a weekly radio show, we're trying to get syndicated. The big money is in syndication. It's a half hour phone show. People call in ask me to do something and I do it. 'Stab yourself with a knife' one will say, 'drink a bottle of draino' another will demand. I do it, describe it, die, and come back to life. The kids get a real kick out of it.
Exasperated, she stopped on the stairs, sighed, and said "Fuck! It's like you're poison to this relationship. (Which really doesn't make much sense, you know, considering that poisons are external, or are they? Maybe I'm wrong and the analogy is apt anyway I'm too tired to debate it) You're a poison and an asshole."
To which I replied, "Do you mean like Brett Michaels or Bell Biv Devoe?"
My ear was ringing the next day from her fist.
To which I replied, "Do you mean like Brett Michaels or Bell Biv Devoe?"
My ear was ringing the next day from her fist.
