Wednesday, June 23, 2004
The funniest line delivered in the last three nights was delivered after Kevin Keefe, the Conservative candidate for the Halifax riding and also owner of the Granite Brewery, declared that he needed a pee break during the debate. An older gentleman said "Too much beer", looked around, and then just in case his friends in the audience didn't hear it, he repeated the line.
A similar thing happened yesterday when I was walking down Spring Garden Road. A speeding police car passed us by and a fellow pedestrian walking with his companion 'imitated' a police dispatcher "7-14 in progress. Officer short on donuts, I repeat, officer short on donuts!" The guy chuckled quite a bit at his comment.
Mike Judge in today's Onion summed up why those sorts of things are funny more eloquently than I ever could,
'In fact, part of the inspiration for both Beavis And Butt-Head and this other guy was from my first engineering job. There was this guy who was a draftsman who thought that any time he worked the number 69 into something, it was automatically funny. He talked like Cheech Marin. He'd say stuff like, "Well, 69 percent of the time" or "Six to nine times out of 10," and he thought it was funny every single time. To me, that's funny, not because I think 69 is funny, but because that guy thinks that every time he says "69," it constitutes a joke.'
Oh fuck! I just did the worst imaginable thing, I explained (or attempted to) why a joke is funny.
A similar thing happened yesterday when I was walking down Spring Garden Road. A speeding police car passed us by and a fellow pedestrian walking with his companion 'imitated' a police dispatcher "7-14 in progress. Officer short on donuts, I repeat, officer short on donuts!" The guy chuckled quite a bit at his comment.
Mike Judge in today's Onion summed up why those sorts of things are funny more eloquently than I ever could,
'In fact, part of the inspiration for both Beavis And Butt-Head and this other guy was from my first engineering job. There was this guy who was a draftsman who thought that any time he worked the number 69 into something, it was automatically funny. He talked like Cheech Marin. He'd say stuff like, "Well, 69 percent of the time" or "Six to nine times out of 10," and he thought it was funny every single time. To me, that's funny, not because I think 69 is funny, but because that guy thinks that every time he says "69," it constitutes a joke.'
Oh fuck! I just did the worst imaginable thing, I explained (or attempted to) why a joke is funny.
On Monday night I headed to the Dalhousie Student Union for the All Candidates Debate. Those participating were all running in the Halifax riding, Sheila Fougere (Liberal), Kevin Keefe(Conservative), Alexa McDonough(NDP), and Michael Oddy(Green). You could tell right away who supported which party, there were young yuppie types with their boring white Conservative t-shirts, there was a group of former FYP students sitting in front of us loudly exclaiming their support for Alexa.The candidates started off with really boring opening remarks mostly talking about their families. It wasn't very promising.
As the night unfolded Alexa proved to be the front runner. She made a couple of funny comments such as "Back when the Liberal was Liberal" (after Kevin Keefe commented on how all the candidates had voted for Trudeau in the 70's), but she lost points when she resorted to the really easy, and I suppose irresistable, tactic of calling 'Harper' a Bush wanna-be. I realize it may be true, but seriously you may as well have the Royal Canadian Air Farce writing your material. She's been in parliament since 1997 and it's starting to show. She's classy and succinct, but seriously lacking in the originality department.
I was hoping that the Liberal candidate would display some flare and have something interesting to say. She does seem to be the councillor with most quotes in the local papers, you'd think she'd have some experience with speaking. No such luck! She started off with some semblence of poise and it quickly fell to the wayside. When she was asked "Why the Conservative party was able to spend more than any other party if elected?" She said "I'd say they aren't. Without resorting to any rhetoric." She thought that she had gotten off the best zinger of the night Unfortunately she pronounced it Rhe-tor-ic, rather than rhet-o-ric. A large portion of the audience groaned. She was given a minute and a half to stick it to the Conservatives and she wasted it by using a really shitty zinger. MAROON!
Later when she was asked for her party's position on Arts and Culture she replied with "I can give my own position on arts and culture more quickly than I can find it in the party platform." She had a chance to rebut the question after all the other candidates had spoken. While the other candidates were giving their responses, Fougere could be seen rifling through her party's platform notes. It was hard to not feel more than a little embarassed for her.
Kevin Keefe, the Conservative candidate and the owner of the Granite brewery, was also more than a little nervous. I kept thinking 'pay no attention to man behind the curtain'. Throughout the opening hour, Keefe seemed as if he was reading from a teleprompter. He loosened up to respond to the question, "What's the craziest thing you did in university?" (which was probably the worst question of the night). Keefe had wanted to drive down to Oklahoma to see where the Okie from Muskogee came from. His best line of the night : (after being told by a crowd member that he hadn't answered the question concerning rising tuition fees and his party's plan or lack thereof to freeze them) "I didn't? I thought I did." He just seemed very clueless and out of his element.
Michael Oddy, who ran in the last federal election, was actually quite enjoyable to listen to. He was verbose and sincere. It seemed like he kept on wanting to say (in regards to Green policy that many were, at the outset, lukewarm to) "Dude! We're not hippies, it's science!!" It was odd to see the Green Party candidate be the voice of reason. After the Liberals and Conservatives had traded barbs during the opening round he remarked, "The only two parties that have governed Canada since Confederation are the Liberals and the Conservatives, so it's sort of silly that they're pointing fingers at each other."
pphilly was here
Tonight I head to my third debate in as many nights.
As the night unfolded Alexa proved to be the front runner. She made a couple of funny comments such as "Back when the Liberal was Liberal" (after Kevin Keefe commented on how all the candidates had voted for Trudeau in the 70's), but she lost points when she resorted to the really easy, and I suppose irresistable, tactic of calling 'Harper' a Bush wanna-be. I realize it may be true, but seriously you may as well have the Royal Canadian Air Farce writing your material. She's been in parliament since 1997 and it's starting to show. She's classy and succinct, but seriously lacking in the originality department.
I was hoping that the Liberal candidate would display some flare and have something interesting to say. She does seem to be the councillor with most quotes in the local papers, you'd think she'd have some experience with speaking. No such luck! She started off with some semblence of poise and it quickly fell to the wayside. When she was asked "Why the Conservative party was able to spend more than any other party if elected?" She said "I'd say they aren't. Without resorting to any rhetoric." She thought that she had gotten off the best zinger of the night Unfortunately she pronounced it Rhe-tor-ic, rather than rhet-o-ric. A large portion of the audience groaned. She was given a minute and a half to stick it to the Conservatives and she wasted it by using a really shitty zinger. MAROON!
Later when she was asked for her party's position on Arts and Culture she replied with "I can give my own position on arts and culture more quickly than I can find it in the party platform." She had a chance to rebut the question after all the other candidates had spoken. While the other candidates were giving their responses, Fougere could be seen rifling through her party's platform notes. It was hard to not feel more than a little embarassed for her.
Kevin Keefe, the Conservative candidate and the owner of the Granite brewery, was also more than a little nervous. I kept thinking 'pay no attention to man behind the curtain'. Throughout the opening hour, Keefe seemed as if he was reading from a teleprompter. He loosened up to respond to the question, "What's the craziest thing you did in university?" (which was probably the worst question of the night). Keefe had wanted to drive down to Oklahoma to see where the Okie from Muskogee came from. His best line of the night : (after being told by a crowd member that he hadn't answered the question concerning rising tuition fees and his party's plan or lack thereof to freeze them) "I didn't? I thought I did." He just seemed very clueless and out of his element.
Michael Oddy, who ran in the last federal election, was actually quite enjoyable to listen to. He was verbose and sincere. It seemed like he kept on wanting to say (in regards to Green policy that many were, at the outset, lukewarm to) "Dude! We're not hippies, it's science!!" It was odd to see the Green Party candidate be the voice of reason. After the Liberals and Conservatives had traded barbs during the opening round he remarked, "The only two parties that have governed Canada since Confederation are the Liberals and the Conservatives, so it's sort of silly that they're pointing fingers at each other."
pphilly was here
Tonight I head to my third debate in as many nights.
