Monday, May 16, 2005
The new band (Greg Boone, Greg Napier, Mitch Kelly,and I) practiced for the first time tonight and I was pretty excited about the results. We ended up writing one and a half songs. It's not like that's an incredible feat considering the songs are under two minutes, but still it's nice to go a practice and leave having accomplished something. I really like what the Gregs and Mitch are writing music wise and it seems we're all on the same page (heavy on the Countdown to Oblivion influence).
The last time I jammed at the practice spot (excluding Dresses' two practices with Michael Catano) I scrawled Jan 13 on the wall in sharpie. It seemed important at the time to document it. I don't know if it was for posterity's sake or what, but it was important. It was the last time Tim, Jeff, Mike, and I were an actual band. Referring to it as a just band seems a denigration, we were friends that played music. I hate the way friendships get fucked up sometimes and good things get pissed away. The only thing recorded was the date on the wall.
I left Calgary/Banff with the heaviest weight on my shoulders and still haven't unloaded it. I don't know how to make amends for what I did before I left Alberta and because of that I feel ashamed every time I talk to a friend I made during that time. I lied to a person who showed me more kindness than I ever deserved, I hurt him more than any enemy should have, and I put so many friendships in jeopardy. I can't believe how self-righteous I was. I've done hurtful things since then, but those seem to pale in comparison.
I wrote lyrics to one of our songs tonight. It's not just about one person or one thing, it's about so many friendships that aren't there anymore. Time heals all? We know that's bullshit.
Seven or eight years? What's the difference? What was the fucking point?
The words that mattered most.
Words that matter most,
are sometimes spoken by assholes
I'd like to stuff those words down your throat,
but I swore I'd never let myself get that close
Now I'm not one to count the years,
but we've got far fewer laughs than tears
The last time I jammed at the practice spot (excluding Dresses' two practices with Michael Catano) I scrawled Jan 13 on the wall in sharpie. It seemed important at the time to document it. I don't know if it was for posterity's sake or what, but it was important. It was the last time Tim, Jeff, Mike, and I were an actual band. Referring to it as a just band seems a denigration, we were friends that played music. I hate the way friendships get fucked up sometimes and good things get pissed away. The only thing recorded was the date on the wall.
I left Calgary/Banff with the heaviest weight on my shoulders and still haven't unloaded it. I don't know how to make amends for what I did before I left Alberta and because of that I feel ashamed every time I talk to a friend I made during that time. I lied to a person who showed me more kindness than I ever deserved, I hurt him more than any enemy should have, and I put so many friendships in jeopardy. I can't believe how self-righteous I was. I've done hurtful things since then, but those seem to pale in comparison.
I wrote lyrics to one of our songs tonight. It's not just about one person or one thing, it's about so many friendships that aren't there anymore. Time heals all? We know that's bullshit.
Seven or eight years? What's the difference? What was the fucking point?
The words that mattered most.
Words that matter most,
are sometimes spoken by assholes
I'd like to stuff those words down your throat,
but I swore I'd never let myself get that close
Now I'm not one to count the years,
but we've got far fewer laughs than tears
