Monday, February 21, 2005
At Rachael's party, I did my best to impress the assemblage. I crushed beer cans against my cranium in the kitchen. In order to prove to people the difference in density between a 'beer can' and a 'beer bottle', I took the latter and smacked it against my head. The proof to the onlookers was that there was no dent in the beer bottle. My hypothesis stood up.
The next morning I woke up with a painful welt on my forehead.
Today I opened my front door in order to depart for work and hit myself square in the forehead with the door.
I'm now reading about Jerry Lewis' battle with Percodan.
Rachael got mad at me because she thought I was going through her family's belongings. I showed off the neat wristband I found in the washroom. It looked pretty good on me, she had to admit.
'I only opened the drawer partway'
'Mark, my mom wouldn't appreciate you going through her bathroom drawer!'
'Rachael all I saw was a paintbrush..calm down!'
'Where'd you get that barrette? I threw that away!'
'Oh this? I spit in your garbage, it looked gross, and I didn't want anyone to have to see it when they were peeing. I moved a toilet paper tube to hide it and this was on top. It's cute!'
'It's trash!'
'Yeah but I found it doing something humanitarian.'
Apparently there was a dispute of some sort going on in the kitchen. I kept telling onlookers that it was a debate about baseball hat beak curvature. It made sense. I'm sure 85% of disagreements are based on disputes about beak curvature.
The next morning I woke up with a painful welt on my forehead.
Today I opened my front door in order to depart for work and hit myself square in the forehead with the door.
I'm now reading about Jerry Lewis' battle with Percodan.
(Lewis) Has been in constant back pain since miscalculating on a pratfall on "The Andy Williams Show" in 1965. Percodan (a highly addictive morphine substitute, now only perscribed in emergencies) left him an addict for almost two decades. He now uses an implant device that dulls nerve impulses and can be controlled by a hand-held remote control
Rachael got mad at me because she thought I was going through her family's belongings. I showed off the neat wristband I found in the washroom. It looked pretty good on me, she had to admit.
'I only opened the drawer partway'
'Mark, my mom wouldn't appreciate you going through her bathroom drawer!'
'Rachael all I saw was a paintbrush..calm down!'
'Where'd you get that barrette? I threw that away!'
'Oh this? I spit in your garbage, it looked gross, and I didn't want anyone to have to see it when they were peeing. I moved a toilet paper tube to hide it and this was on top. It's cute!'
'It's trash!'
'Yeah but I found it doing something humanitarian.'
Apparently there was a dispute of some sort going on in the kitchen. I kept telling onlookers that it was a debate about baseball hat beak curvature. It made sense. I'm sure 85% of disagreements are based on disputes about beak curvature.
