We're Headed Up My Mom's Ass!

I don't think you'll be banned for life if you don't bring a date, you can bring a pal or a buddy or even an acquaintance.
It's also possible to bring a family member or even a companion, a young person would suffice as well.
That sounds like I am discriminating against age, which I am not because I suppose you could also bring a middle aged co-worker if need be.