We're Headed Up My Mom's Ass!

Last night after hopping the fence and sneaking around the Public Gardens and drinking at various fine establishments, I came home and dropped my key in the snow. This would not be a problem if roommates were home, but like any well adjusted adults, they were out cultivating social lives.

After the fiftieth time ringing the doorbell, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I heaved a planter through one of the back windows, crawled through the broken glass, ripped my jacket, and got glass in my foot.

Now I have to talk to my superintendent