Wednesday, March 24, 2004
A Guide to University
1. Whenever anyone asks what you received on your last paper/exam/midterm respond with "I totally got a hundred on that!"
2. If there's a movie relevant to your professor's lecture, let them know you can bring it in.
Example : If you're talking about Paris's rich history let them know that not only does I-Spy, starring Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy, have an invisible jet, but it also features L'Arc de Triomphe and you can bring it in!!
3. Tell people that Evolutionary Biology is a waste of time because we all know that shit ain't going to help you in the real world. Tell them that when you were working at the canoe rental place last summer that suggesting your dad was descended from a monkey was likely to lead to you getting your ass kicked.
4. "I read that Gwyenth Plathtrow poem and like man she's whhhhhhiiiiiiiny!"
5. Not enough university students have trucker hats, you should get one.
6. There needs to be more discussion about how important movies like the Matrix, Donnie Darko, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas are. Duuuude they are so fucking heavy.
7. One word that noone tosses around enough : Uncle Tom
8. "No, I have not heard about 'Halifax Sexiest Party' please let me know where its located so I may partake in this joyful celebration of foam and bleached hair."
9. Most people do want to know about how much your world view has changed since you spent four weeks in France last summer. You should preface any of your remarks in class with "I've been to Europe/Asia/Africa so I have a bit of a different perspective on things..."
10. I would love to check out your 'jam' band. I love Phish as well, maybe we can go back to your place, smoke a j, and fornicate while listening to Bob Marley or better yet, Sublime.
Clarification : I don't want anyone to think I was suggesting calling anyone an uncle tom. It's merely a reference to a comment in my Literature, Health and Healing class. We were discussing writings by Mary Seacole and a student suggest that there was a possibility that Seacole was pandering to racist stereotypes of the time in her writing. The professor then asked the student if he thought Seacole was an uncle tom.
1. Whenever anyone asks what you received on your last paper/exam/midterm respond with "I totally got a hundred on that!"
2. If there's a movie relevant to your professor's lecture, let them know you can bring it in.
Example : If you're talking about Paris's rich history let them know that not only does I-Spy, starring Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy, have an invisible jet, but it also features L'Arc de Triomphe and you can bring it in!!
3. Tell people that Evolutionary Biology is a waste of time because we all know that shit ain't going to help you in the real world. Tell them that when you were working at the canoe rental place last summer that suggesting your dad was descended from a monkey was likely to lead to you getting your ass kicked.
4. "I read that Gwyenth Plathtrow poem and like man she's whhhhhhiiiiiiiny!"
5. Not enough university students have trucker hats, you should get one.
6. There needs to be more discussion about how important movies like the Matrix, Donnie Darko, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas are. Duuuude they are so fucking heavy.
7. One word that noone tosses around enough : Uncle Tom
8. "No, I have not heard about 'Halifax Sexiest Party' please let me know where its located so I may partake in this joyful celebration of foam and bleached hair."
9. Most people do want to know about how much your world view has changed since you spent four weeks in France last summer. You should preface any of your remarks in class with "I've been to Europe/Asia/Africa so I have a bit of a different perspective on things..."
10. I would love to check out your 'jam' band. I love Phish as well, maybe we can go back to your place, smoke a j, and fornicate while listening to Bob Marley or better yet, Sublime.
Clarification : I don't want anyone to think I was suggesting calling anyone an uncle tom. It's merely a reference to a comment in my Literature, Health and Healing class. We were discussing writings by Mary Seacole and a student suggest that there was a possibility that Seacole was pandering to racist stereotypes of the time in her writing. The professor then asked the student if he thought Seacole was an uncle tom.
# posted by Die Brucke @ 8:24 PM 
