Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I pedal all the way down Agricola, past my house, past Bloomfield. I don't remember doing this, I have to be told and even when I'm told I don't recall it with a 'oh yeah, now I remember!'
I weave in and out of traffic periodically finding the pavement with my body. I declare that my mind is fit and sound, the problem is is that my body won't listen to it. I don't have any memory of this. It sounds like something I'd declare and it seems like something I'd do, but my mind has no recollection of it. My body on the other hand, with its dark brown and purple bruises, remembers it all quite well.
tried to drink you off my mind, I just got wasted
It's not about love, it's not about romance. It's not about me trying desperately to forget some unrequited love or someone who done did me wrong.
When I was younger and I'd do something that my parents were upset with (pissing outside, swearing, lying etc.), I'd spend my punishment time in my room calculating how long it'd take for them to form new memories and push out the memories of what I'd done wrong. How long until they'd only have good memories of me? How long until people would forget would a lying, thieving brat I was?
I still do that today, but it's usually in reverse. I wonder how long it'll take me to forget the things I've done. How long until I wake up one morning and think I'm decent? Sometimes I think today will be the day that I go home thinking that I'm not annoying (or obnoxious), other days I can't imagine that day ever coming.
I try to remember what makes me glad, Sometimes it gets so hard, I forget all the things that I have
The other night after jamming with Gerry, Mike, and Tim in the unnamed band that also includes Jeff, I started to feel a little good inside. No doubt that sounds a little melodramatic and sounds like I'm signifying a move to livejournal, but it feels really good for me to be playing in a band again even if it is relegated to a practice space for the time being.
I weave in and out of traffic periodically finding the pavement with my body. I declare that my mind is fit and sound, the problem is is that my body won't listen to it. I don't have any memory of this. It sounds like something I'd declare and it seems like something I'd do, but my mind has no recollection of it. My body on the other hand, with its dark brown and purple bruises, remembers it all quite well.
tried to drink you off my mind, I just got wasted
It's not about love, it's not about romance. It's not about me trying desperately to forget some unrequited love or someone who done did me wrong.
When I was younger and I'd do something that my parents were upset with (pissing outside, swearing, lying etc.), I'd spend my punishment time in my room calculating how long it'd take for them to form new memories and push out the memories of what I'd done wrong. How long until they'd only have good memories of me? How long until people would forget would a lying, thieving brat I was?
I still do that today, but it's usually in reverse. I wonder how long it'll take me to forget the things I've done. How long until I wake up one morning and think I'm decent? Sometimes I think today will be the day that I go home thinking that I'm not annoying (or obnoxious), other days I can't imagine that day ever coming.
I try to remember what makes me glad, Sometimes it gets so hard, I forget all the things that I have
The other night after jamming with Gerry, Mike, and Tim in the unnamed band that also includes Jeff, I started to feel a little good inside. No doubt that sounds a little melodramatic and sounds like I'm signifying a move to livejournal, but it feels really good for me to be playing in a band again even if it is relegated to a practice space for the time being.
# posted by Die Brucke @ 3:41 PM 
