We're Headed Up My Mom's Ass!

Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? It's my front wheel! What did you think, that I'd -- drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of prick? Some sort of idiot? Some sort of thief? What would you do with just my front wheel anyway? What good would just one wheel be? You human loser! Well, why didn't you buy your own wheel if you wanted one so badly. That's what I did. Well, don't you think I need that wheel? Well, well, what were you thinking? JERK!

That was an open letter to the guy that stole my bike wheel.