Saturday, March 18, 2006
I feel like a jackass when I tell people that they have said the exact wrong thing.
Tonight is a perfect example; I was pretty bummed out that we weren't playing the North by Northend Festival with Rammer. I am pretty sure that once tour is finished, this band is through. I think I'm the only one in the band who sees it as their primary band and as a result I attach much too much importance to it. Playing in it is cathartic, I can unleash all the bad shit in my life and have it done with. It's a nice feeling, but I know it's fleeting. I want to make every moment count and I don't want to waste any time. I feel like I have done enough time wasting and I just want this band to be different.
When I found out earlier this evening that we weren't playing I was heartbroken, I can't really describe it any better than that. It just bummed me out and I didn't feel like leaving my house. Not because I'm a big baby...well yes it is because I'm a big baby, but mostly because a night at Gus's Pub inhaling smoke didn't appeal to me. At least if we were playing that high would carry me through the rest of the night and give me the necessary lift to coast the rest of the night.
I had made up my mind that I was being an idiot by not going. I had drank two Old Milwaukees and was sick of hanging out in my ill fitting jogging pants. Then the phone rang. I don't know what conversations had occurred, but someone had clearly told the intoxicated dialer on the other end of the conversation that I was sulking. I don't know there's something about someone telling you that you're acting like a baby that just makes you want to contine to hang out in your discount jogging pants and sit at home drinking Old Milwaukees, part of it is because I am stubborn, but part of it is because my idea of getting cheered up doesn't involve getting called a baby.
WAH WAH WAH
Tonight is a perfect example; I was pretty bummed out that we weren't playing the North by Northend Festival with Rammer. I am pretty sure that once tour is finished, this band is through. I think I'm the only one in the band who sees it as their primary band and as a result I attach much too much importance to it. Playing in it is cathartic, I can unleash all the bad shit in my life and have it done with. It's a nice feeling, but I know it's fleeting. I want to make every moment count and I don't want to waste any time. I feel like I have done enough time wasting and I just want this band to be different.
When I found out earlier this evening that we weren't playing I was heartbroken, I can't really describe it any better than that. It just bummed me out and I didn't feel like leaving my house. Not because I'm a big baby...well yes it is because I'm a big baby, but mostly because a night at Gus's Pub inhaling smoke didn't appeal to me. At least if we were playing that high would carry me through the rest of the night and give me the necessary lift to coast the rest of the night.
I had made up my mind that I was being an idiot by not going. I had drank two Old Milwaukees and was sick of hanging out in my ill fitting jogging pants. Then the phone rang. I don't know what conversations had occurred, but someone had clearly told the intoxicated dialer on the other end of the conversation that I was sulking. I don't know there's something about someone telling you that you're acting like a baby that just makes you want to contine to hang out in your discount jogging pants and sit at home drinking Old Milwaukees, part of it is because I am stubborn, but part of it is because my idea of getting cheered up doesn't involve getting called a baby.
WAH WAH WAH
# posted by Die Brucke @ 10:58 PM 
